8 tips to boost your dating confidence and self-esteem

Relationship expert, Dr. Laura Berman shares 8 tips to boost your dating confidence and self-esteem.

Confidence comes from the inside out. While taking care of your external self and practicing good self-care is crucial for looking your best, don’t neglect what is on the inside. That’s what really counts! Relationship expert, Dr. Laura Berman shares 8 tips to help you boost your dating confidence and self-esteem.

When it comes to physical beauty, here is what you can try:

Wear red

  • Studies have shown that both men and women find red to be the most sexually attractive color, and it signals desire and confidence.

Getting a hair blowout

  • Over 1/3 of women admit that they have canceled plans because they don’t like how they look. That means millions of women have missed out on having fun and enjoying their favorite activities all because of what they see in the mirror. Getting a hair blowout or prodcuts like Viviscal’s new topical range help give that extra oomph to give more body to your hair.

Applying Visine

  • Make your eyes pop by applying Visine or a similar product before your big date. It will ‘get the red out’ and make your eyes seem brighter and larger. It’s a secret of Hollywood makeup artists everywhere! Then, apply a light colored pencil to the inner corners of your rim to catch the light and make your eyes seem bigger.


  • Research shows that men actually dislike strong floral scents, and instead prefer more woodsy fragrances on women. So, if you want to up your sex appeal, go to your local department store and ask for a scent that is spicy, warm or woodsy!

For that inner beauty aspect, consider these tips:

Self-worth + confidence

  • Sexy stilettos and a little black dress can’t make you feel confident if your inner self is hurting. Before you go on your date, you need to connect with the prize you already are. So, instead of waiting for HIM to validate your attractiveness, you will already be secure in your worthiness before the date begins. It’s about deciding if HE is attractive to you, not whether you are attractive to him.
  • Knowing your own worth is key. You have to realize how deserving of love you are and refuse to settle for anything less. When you bring that energy to a date, you will seem confident, attractive and absolutely desirable.

Pre-date outdoor exercise

  • Recent studies have demonstrated that exercising outside in an attractive, pleasant setting can actually significantly increase the positive effects of exercise. Exercise decreases blood pressure, increases self-esteem and has a positive effect on mood. exercising outside in a pleasant outdoor environment will result in significantly increased self-esteem measures as well.

Lower the stakes

  • Don’t think of your date as a big interview that you will either pass or fail. Instead, set smaller goals, such as “I am going on this date tonight to work on my conversation skills” or “I am going to enjoy a nice dinner with a potential new friend” or just “I am going to hang out with a cool human and see what happens.”
  • If the stakes are lower, you will be more confident and thus more relaxed and more yourself. If you take the date too seriously, you could risk giving off a nervous, or even desperate energy…which is date-repellant!

Get into an open-hearted state.

  • Stanford research shows that people who mediate can lower their levels of anxiety and increase their overall self-esteem. You can make your mediation even more meaningful by using it to set an intention for your upcoming date.
  • For example, before the date, do a open-hearted mediation (such as this one) and choose one intention to focus on for your upcoming date. To let your guard down and let your true self be seen.
  • The best part about a mediation practice such as this one is that when you are in open heartedness, you are in powerful manifestation mode. Add intention to your open heart, and miracles will happen in your love life and beyond.

Remember, the energy you bring to date night matters. If you radiate love, openness and peacefulness, you will attract that type of energy back to you. That’s quantum physics in a nutshell—like attracts like, and we get back what we give. So if you want a love life that is meaningful, exciting and whole-hearted, you need to live as though that energy already exists within you (it does!) and vibrate it out into the universe.

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