The last 6 months have been emotionally taxing due to COVID; the crash of the economy; the Black Lives Matter movement; an unsafe September; children returning back to school, and I am sure some of us have been overwhelmed with the self-reflection we have had to face.
During the pandemic we have all been:
- Letting things fall where they may – exposing cracks in our routines and our lives
- Working on setting better emotional boundaries
- Having braver conversations at both home and work – whether it’s around anti-Black racism, or ‘do I even like my husband?’ Or ‘who I am today?’ Or becoming?
The change in the weather can be a great time to analyze all that you have gained this year – including the pounds – be it on your body, mind, house, or your schedule. Here is how you can hit that reset button this fall:
STEP 1: Discover the gifts of discomfort – what have you gained this year? (other than stress pounds?)
My biggest gain was understanding grace – that was my most used “moisturizer.”
- Define where you are currently (Current State) – reconciling your identity stories – your hindsight and foresight story – your pre-COVID Story, your current story and the story of how you would like to end 2020 knowing what you know now.
- What are you malnourished in? This is a great place to start. Yes. there is a lot going on that you’re navigating – but what are you hungry for the most? What are you craving that you can give to yourself in small or medium sized doses?
- Try to find time to reflect on the pivots you’ve made – the successes, challenges, including what you need to focus on for the rest of the year.
- Take time to meet the you are today.
STEP 2: Acknowledge and celebrate those gains
- What worked well and what didn’t. I use the simple C-S-S Strategy – what will I continue/start/stop?
- Grab a few friends virtually and do an ‘I MADE IT THIS FAR” celebration of life. You might have lost loved ones or might be reeling from survivors’ guilt. I am taking this one line from my superhero, King T’Challa – ‘TAKE YOUR TIME, BUT DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME. LIVE URGENTLY.’
Step 3: Focus on mindset – prepare for the transition to 2021 by preparing for a better tomorrow
All we can do is do better today – better than we did yesterday. That’s it – this thinking contributes towards our growth mindset, increasing our emotional resilience and ability to deal with the fast and furious changes of life.
- Challenge your mindset and shift your perspective and energy moment by moment
- Our thoughts frame our world. Write sticky notes with affirmations, habits, thoughts and what I call “sample behaviors.”
- Expand your world and be of service to others by sharing these affirmations.
- Forgive yourself daily for what you said to yourself when you were trying to be superhuman.
While we don’t know what 2021 will look like – the steps above will help you move through with confidence. If you have the mental capacity to visualize 2021k, do so. Do a vision dream party around what you would like the next year to look like. This is a great time to press the reset button for both your personal life and your career.
THE (PRE) YEAR-END REVIEW
- Take stock of everything I have accomplished so far.
- Lists can be good – they help manage the feeling of being overwhelmed; or for some, can contribute to it. I often remind clients to work with what works. Look at your master to-do list and see what unfinished business you have to sort – what do I need to reduce, recycle or refuse?
- Make a list of experiences you would like to have before January
- Plan your days with intention and clarity focused on delivering your goals/experiences.
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